omg. i was hardcore drunk. i got hardcore slapped in the face by my exboi and i didnt really care. and i told him the hardcore truth about me and to my huge surprise he appeared to be pretty much the same as me. i said: "the only thing i think about is myself."
he said "i know."
i.m a bit ashamed of the person i am (joy division quote!) coz i.m so selfish. maybe selfish isnt the right word becoz... i mean, i cant just like somebody. its always original luv or indifference. simple as that. i actually dont care much about myself its like i'd have to give my life meaning by making somebody entirely happy.
but i do fail all of the fukkain time and this fact is making me sick and unhappy and.....gosh!
i said "i.m so unhappy."
he knew. and.
now i.m hangin 'round someone.s flat drinking vodka and writing stupid entries.
i dont know.
it'd sound pathetic if i said i.m far beyond despair but i am and it makes me laugh that all the statements i.m giving are so ...well, EEMMOO! godz, shit is that i cant stop myself being emo. its just that i dont know what to do and therapy doesnt help at all.
it wasnt true when i said that i.m just thinking'bout myself. a mere lie! truth is that i cant stop thinking about peter and i.m breaking into tears all the fukking time coz everything reminds me of him and i just cant believe that he...dunno, refused me when before he was perfectly nice and loving (ok thats what it seemed like) and caring and just everything i ever wished. i.m arrogant enough to think that i were an enrichment. for his life.
or maybe not. maybe it was just contrarywise coz my life feels so empty right now.
i dont know.
why do i keep babbling about him. he dont even wants to see me. he prbly hates me.
i.m so like out of my mind...world WHUTEVERFUCKOFFF!
kdhudwhakgdkazgtuwqzuqgzwefzted
!
!
i dont know
i.m drunk again and quoting fintan haldane i say "natürlich bin ich lebensmüde. was soll man denn auch anderes machen? man kann entweder saufen oder sich umbringen. na, im moment sauf' ich ja wohl noch."
i.m so emo.
baihai
xxxlulufukoffululxxx
he said "i know."
i.m a bit ashamed of the person i am (joy division quote!) coz i.m so selfish. maybe selfish isnt the right word becoz... i mean, i cant just like somebody. its always original luv or indifference. simple as that. i actually dont care much about myself its like i'd have to give my life meaning by making somebody entirely happy.
but i do fail all of the fukkain time and this fact is making me sick and unhappy and.....gosh!
i said "i.m so unhappy."
he knew. and.
now i.m hangin 'round someone.s flat drinking vodka and writing stupid entries.
i dont know.
it'd sound pathetic if i said i.m far beyond despair but i am and it makes me laugh that all the statements i.m giving are so ...well, EEMMOO! godz, shit is that i cant stop myself being emo. its just that i dont know what to do and therapy doesnt help at all.
it wasnt true when i said that i.m just thinking'bout myself. a mere lie! truth is that i cant stop thinking about peter and i.m breaking into tears all the fukking time coz everything reminds me of him and i just cant believe that he...dunno, refused me when before he was perfectly nice and loving (ok thats what it seemed like) and caring and just everything i ever wished. i.m arrogant enough to think that i were an enrichment. for his life.
or maybe not. maybe it was just contrarywise coz my life feels so empty right now.
i dont know.
why do i keep babbling about him. he dont even wants to see me. he prbly hates me.
i.m so like out of my mind...world WHUTEVERFUCKOFFF!
kdhudwhakgdkazgtuwqzuqgzwefzted
!
!
i dont know
i.m drunk again and quoting fintan haldane i say "natürlich bin ich lebensmüde. was soll man denn auch anderes machen? man kann entweder saufen oder sich umbringen. na, im moment sauf' ich ja wohl noch."
i.m so emo.
baihai
xxxlulufukoffululxxx
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